Equality and Justice

Xena and Buffy are two of my favorite TV characters - not just because they're feminine, strong, flawed, capable, can work with a team, and exhibit ability to lead as well as follow, but because if in the course of their butt-kicking one of them hits a man, and a man hits her back, she doesn't launch into a rant about the abusive patriarchy.

In the armed forces, and apparently law enforcement alike, women aren't held to the same standards as their male counterparts are. Also, women in the USofA aren't required to sign up for Selective Service, as are virtually all male U.S. citizens and immigrant male non-citizens between the ages of 18 and 25. If I must ever rely upon the Colorado Spring Police Department for my safety, I hope the officers are among those who have passed each of the tests the other officers are required to. I don't pretend to know how male servicemen on dangerous missions feel about being on the same team as females who don't have to achieve the same level of physical fitness as he is required to. I probably wouldn't like that feeling.

I believe that people should have equal protection against and equal justice for instances of harm, crime, and discrimination. No matter how famous those who contend otherwise may be, "feminism" (etymology: Latin fēminīnus, from fēmina “woman”) has been, is, and will always be about females. If it weren't, I would expect every "feminist" to be campaigning as actively to require women to sign up with the Selective Service and meet all employment standards that male employees must, as they campaign for women's rights.

I do think that women's suffrage is and has been important. I think that women's health issues deserve a lot more funding and a lot more research and a hell of a lot better care and awareness than currently apportioned. However, if we truly want equality, then we ought to expect to act equally. This is why I'm pretty happy with the push for legislation requiring that women be included in the draft.

Boredom

There is so much to do in this world, particularly if you're privileged enough to live in a developed country like the US and aren't suffering from extreme lack of life's necessities. There's always a new skill to learn, talents to explore, hobbies to enjoy, physical activity, learning, socializing, etc. Even TV and reading and playing games are good activities, within reason.

There is no reason for an adult to be bored. There are events and activities which are boring, people who are boring, and places which are boring - but being bored? That comes from within. So, with that being the case, when someone above the age of 18 complains in my presence about being "bored", my opinion of their intelligence and respectability suffers traumatically, if not fatally.

Along with the typical things in life, like church and school, I've had major health struggles and several invasive surgeries and procedures, lengthy convalescences, doctor's appointments and countless ER visits. There have been substantial periods of time when I've been disabled or house/hospital bound. And yes, even while being in severe, constant pain and illness, I have not been and am never bored. Miserable and scared and frustrated at times, but never bored.

I discovered early in life that I found boredom to be a shameful thing to feel, much less admit to, in a world as vast as ours is. Even when I haven't had use of all four limbs, I still had my mouth and a brain. There was and is still no excuse for boredom. The need to be constantly entertained is the symptom of a poorly disciplined mind.

"Adventure is out there!" - even if you have to make it up for yourself.

Gender Related Issue: Man Love Thursday

"Man Love Thursday", as it's referred to by our servicepeople, is a tense time when deployed in the Middle-East. You see, Friday is the Muslim day of rest, and they believe that their sins will be forgiven on the morrow. Because of this belief, some Muslim folks celebrate Thursday by going out a-raping their boy slaves and anyone else, regardless of gender, they can force themselves upon.

Downrange, this day of the week instills the same fear in men that women back home refer to as "running errands alone after dark".

"A Hard Time" versus "A Hard Life"

Whenever I hear someone complain or try to blame things on having a "hard life", I 100% expect that complaint or rationalization to be followed by:

Because...

*I was a POW
*I have spent time in war/caring for the wounded and/or dying and dead

*I was tortured and/or kept locked up for months or years

*I was a child soldier

*I suffered long-term abuse or privation

*I am maimed, disabled, or disfigured in such a way that it causes me daily suffering

*I have an incurable or terminal illness that causes me daily suffering

*I have a serious mental illness that causes me daily suffering

*I am the chief source of care/support for my moderately to severely ill/disabled family members

*I am moderately to severely ill/disabled

*I have serious psychological or physical ailments stemming from traumatic experience or abuse

...or things of that nature.

Everything else qualifies as "a hard time" in life, such as broken bones, labor/delivery, break ups, etc. It does not qualify as "a hard life".

Equal Love

I soundly repudiate the notion that an individual cannot wholly love self, spouse, children, family and friends as much as any believer just because he or she does not believe in God. The idea that God would deny any individual full access to their own reservoir of loved based on level or nature of faith is preposterous. It's a pretty misguided individual who would need to make himself or herself feel superior based on such spurious and deluded merits.

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

One of my dear friends related to me something about the teaching of sex among Christian communities as related to him in a religious fireside by a psychologist. In brief, she said that sex is like a pool - but one you aren't allowed to swim in, touch, go near, look at, or even think about. Then, when you get married, you're thrown into the deep end and told "have a good time!"

Men I've dated and women I've talked with have had woefully lacking or inaccurate knowledge about sex and reproduction. Women have told me stories about how frightened they were about having sex with their own husband because they were taught "it" was sinful and dirty and absolutely not to be talked about, or they told me how painful it was, or how confusing it was, or how absolutely embarrassed they felt because they had no idea what to do.

The men seem to be more familiar with the plumbing system - though most of it is admittedly learned from pornography, since mommy and daddy weren't willing to talk with them about such a needful, natural topic. I heard one man relate to me that it's supposed to hurt for a woman to get pregnant, and I thought...oh my God, those poor, poor women.

So, it seems that there's yet another prevailing myth that must needs be busted in the balls. SEX SHOULD NOT EVER EVER EVER BE PAINFUL, even when it results in pregnancy. Ladies, go see your gynecologist if you experience pain with intercourse; You men who think it's "normal" or "okay" for your sexual partner to be in pain while you jack off inside her body, you are monstrously wrong. It is NOT normal for ANY woman to hurt during sex, and it isn't ever "okay". If she is hurting and you aren't in a consenting sado-masochistic union, then something is wrong. Get her to a doctor so you two can figure out how to make it pleasurable FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.

Gender Equality: The Workplace

THE ARTICLE IN QUESTION

I'm always of two minds about articles focusing on disparity between men and women in politics, the workplace, or the developed world in general. I know that there are instances in which sex discrimination has occurred and still takes place, and it rankles me when a woman is held back based on her sex or sexual characteristics. However, in today's first-world countries, I don't think every single disappointment or difficulty a woman experiences in the workplace has basis in gender-based discrimination. To elaborate...

(1) Women make babies. As engaging in sex (read: sexual activity that is consensual) is a personal choice, as contraception, Plan B pills, and birth control are widely available, and as abortion is still legal in many areas, it is a woman's choice to bear children. It is not a disability.

Therefore, a woman becoming a mother chooses to sacrifice commitment to career that a single person, or a parent whose partner cares for their children, is able to devote. It is not a company's job to cater to someone's choice to be a parent. Businesses hire the individual whom is best for them, within the constraints of law and company policy. If another person can and does commit more of their time and effort to a job, it shouldn't be unexpected that he or she may receive compensation, promotions, and benefits in consequence.

I think I should make it clear that I respect a mother who does her best for her children. At-home mothers don't have it easy. Mothers who also have to or want to work outside the home don't have it easy. I'm saying that when your children are the priority, a company cannot be expected to compete.

(2) There are at least as many laws protecting women at work than there are men, as well as widely-implemented company policies dictating that a certain percentage of persons in specific levels of the business must be women.

Therefore, a man who is more committed or better qualified for a job may be denied one based strictly on - what? - his gender. I've seen these policies in play.

(3) The "Status Quo". Teach girls they can and should and will often have to campaign for higher positions, raises, respect, etc., if she wants to attain a higher position, raise, greater respect, etc. It seems to be assumed that someone is going to come along and offer a working woman more money or a better position just because she has earned it. In most jobs, this doesn't happen without the employee becoming his or her advocate for career or monetary advancement, regardless of gender.

A woman does not have to sacrifice her inherent nature and femininity in order to be aggressively successful. I like to be friendly and nurturing, but I'm okay with putting my career and my agenda first. My husband has to do this, too - he's a darling to me, but he's got to take care of business at work, and that means he's not everyone's bestest buddy all the time. It's okay if some people think I'm a jerk. It's okay if some people think he's a jerk. We have yet to cry ourselves to sleep at night because someone else thinks we're jerks.

Teach our girls to be every bit as determined and capable of successfully showcasing their skills, accomplishments, and assets to their superiors as we enable our boys to be. Teach them it's okay to compete with others, to win over others, and not feel they should have to apologize to others for their success. Meekness and humility before God enters you into paradisiacal rest when you die. Meekness and humility before the employer who has three other candidates competing for the job you want is going to get you nowhere while you still live and breathe.